PARTLY FACETIOUS: What was the criterion used for the selection of the three men?

“Speaking of the negotiating team…” “Which one - the government and the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf one which is now redundant or the post-Prevention of Electronic Crimes (PECA) bill passage negotiating team on offer to journalists and…why are you laughing?”

“The government team insisted on seven working days and I have heard they excluded the weekend - Saturday and Sunday - and I have it on very good authority that they also excluded the Monday because they have been summoned to Lahore for lunch by host Nawaz Sharif and hostess Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN)…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“Hey I can understand a civil servant focused on working days as opposed to non-working days, but the three men selected by the PML-N have all reached the age of superannuation and surely…”

“I would just like to ask the selector of the government team one question? What was the criterion used for the selection of the three men – Irfan Siddiqui, Greedy for Portfolios Samdhi (GPS) and Rana Sanaullah?”

“Well, the first two names are easy to explain: they are senators with a one-man constituency, The Selector, and not by the people, if you know what I mean.”

“Right, I would have thought the third name The Rana is a mismatch because he refused to be selected, or so I hear.”

“I heard that too, so the third man should have been Parveen…”

“Parveen? What a brilliant idea to have a woman on the team – she would bring some colour to the bland looking negotiating teams and….oh! You don’t mean Parvez Rashid do you because if you do then perhaps you will be the first on whom the PECA Act will be applied…”

“Hey, it was a typo - I still can’t afford a new keyboard.”

“No can do; he is still training NMN, and speaking of her she is giving out new laptops to students…”

“I am not a student.”

“Well, then present your case to her and seek her largesse.”

“How?”

“Some favourable comments on social media may do the trick.”

“And what about fake…”

“Shut up! Good reviews can never ever be fake, as per PECA.”

“Right.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2025