PARTLY FACETIOUS: Everyone must have a fair and equal chance of succeeding

“Can you clarify what is a level playing field.” “Multiple meanings – as many as the…the…the rupee dollar parity during the Dar months.”

“The Dar Months? I thought Dar years?”

“No we have been lucky in being subjected to Dar appointed as finance minister in relatively small doses. The first time was less than a year – in 1998 till the overthrow of Nawaz Sharif’s government in 1999, then again in 2008 for less than six months, and from 2013-17 when he left the highest ever current account deficit for his successor – both within the party and then as the party lost in the elections…”

“But from 27 September 2022 till 9 August 2023 the damage he did was incalculable.”

“Hey be fair: the economy was in shambles due to flawed policies of finance ministers, technocrats, accountants, bankers – he just hastened the process and made it worse.”

“Due to the all-nighters that the Sharifs were so appreciative of.”

“Don’t be facetious. You say tomato the US way I pronounce it the UK way.”

“Indeed but anyway level playing field is about love I reckon – how much love is being enjoyed by one party over another.”

“I am not sure it is love, I would say it is more about the obedience coefficient that is calculated before a general elections and the deviation from that coefficient after the elections and…”

“Hmmm so I reckon better mathematicians who can calculate the coefficient more accurately….”

“Don’t be facetious anyway the term level playing field is different for different parties. Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN) reckons a level playing field is the inverse of her daddy and The Man Who Must Remain Nameless position in 1918 elections. So daddy cleared of all charges, daddy assisted in the elections, daddy….”

“Right daddy installed as the prime minister and The Man Who Must Remain Nameless in jail and disqualified.”

“Right, The Man Who Must Remain Nameless wants no levelling of the field just to be allowed on the field. He reckons he will win if allowed on the field.”

“Zardari sahib wants a level playing field and he defines it as being allowed to proceed with his policy of reconciliation – government contracts, Kashmir committee chairmanship, resettlement allowance…”

“Resettlement allowance as in enabling someone to relocate abroad with sufficient finances…”

“Indeed but how would you define a level playing field?”

“I have lost all appetite to play on any field – the field of utility bills, the field of purchasing perishable items or paying school fees or…”

“How about in the field of general elections?”

“Nah, that’s time wasted if the result is to be negotiated between those playing in the field.”

“That makes sense.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023