PARTLY FACETIOUS: There are the elites who do a good lobbying job for their own interest

“So the Omni guy Majeed has been given a national award.” “Not yet, but yes he is on the list.” “And the name of the already Much Benefited Man associated with the 2014 deaths in Model Town of Tahirul Qadri’s followers is also on the list.”

“I thought he got a plum positing in Europe somewhere and now is Pakistan government’s man in World Bank, a member of the Board who gets a dollar salary and I think free education anywhere in the world for a couple of his kids and…”

“And stop drooling. As the man said, think not of what you can do for your country, think of what you can do for an elite with a difference.”

“What does that mean?”

“There are the elites who do a good lobbying job for their own interest, and this may require some change of currency from one hand to another, and then there are those who are truly elites or the decision makers who can with a flick of their hand give awards to whoever they may deem appropriate and the rest of us be damned.”

“Decision makers may not be quite right.”

“How would you say it?”

“I would refer to them as ’TIs.”

“TI as in Transparency International! I would not have thought so! I would have said anything but transparent or international.”

“TI as in Temporary Inhabitant.”

“Hmmm I thought that the politicians are relevant till death do them part but that those whose service is capped to retirement age…”

“You sound like Nawaz Sharif.”

“Excuse me?”

“He never learns from his own past mistakes, and he repeats them again and again and again just to prove that he was right…”

“I don’t get it.”

“Zardari sahib said it once a long time ago and never ever repeated it, so why are you?”

“Oh, I had to drop out of Zardari school of reconciliation, as I could either clear my electricity bill or pay the school fees.”

“So go to Majeed Sahib and ask for a scholarship…”

“I hear he is only giving scholarships to those who have a recommendation directly from Zardari sahib, and I guess that you don’t have. So wait till the electricity tariff comes down to enroll again.”

“Don’t be facetious.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024