PARTLY FACETIOUS: Khan pitted against Maryam

“20 by-elections in Punjab and election fever has gripped the entire country.”

“Indeed The Khan is pitted against Maryam Nawaz and that must irk.”

“Irk who? The Khan? Or Maryam Nawaz?”

“Both — their egos are a mile long…”

“Only a mile! Anyway The Khan’s achievements are many, Maryam Nawaz was born with a silver spoon in her mouth.”

“Death and damnation!”

“What? What did I say?”

“Silver spoon! It’s more like golden…no wait is that the most expensive metal in the world.”

“Nope and platinum isn’t either. It’s Rhodium.”

“Never heard of it.”

“That’s because you were born with a tin spoon in your mouth.”

“Hey back off…where is it mined and what’s it used for?”

“Russia, Canada and South Africa and it is used in searchlights, mirrors and jewellery finishes as it gives a wonderful shine to…”

“I have it on good authority that Maryam Nawaz has had all her jewellery rhodium-plated so you Khanzadehs can put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

“Hey we don’t keep expensive jewelry items, we sell them off to people like you, and use the proceeds for…for…meeting our other needs.”

“Right, anyway another Punjab minister has resigned to spearhead the campaign for the 20 bye elections and again this to me shows how astute the PML-N is. Khan sahib please I am begging you understand that constituency politics is what wins’ elections, not jalsas by the party leader however much he may be popular and however much his narrative may…”

“But putting Maryam Nawaz opposite The Khan is undermining The Khan and how dare they…”

“I told you the PML-N is an experienced status quo party — it blusters when outed but the bluster fizzles out when there is reengagement — however The Khan does not bluster but…but…”

“But what? Well bluster is a strong wind right, but two stages higher is tirade…”

“Indeed, as they say to forgive bluster is human but to forgive tirade would be divine and as we as humans cannot reach that level of…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022