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Opinion Print edition: 2024-03-14

PARTLY FACETIOUS: Shutting down the Adiala jail?

“I don’t understand how you can shut down a jail?” “By a notification, and considering that it is a...
Published Updated

“I don’t understand how you can shut down a jail?”

“By a notification, and considering that it is a Notification that began the illustrious political career…”

“Stop, as you are well aware she remains under training and unless I see Parveen Rashid recede into the Lahore fog.”

“Get that dratted keyboard fixed, it is Parvez M Rashid, a respected and…”

“On a scale of one to ten, your insertion of the letter M may create greater angst that may well lead to serious consequences than my rather inadvertent gender mix-up…”

“M doesn’t stand for Middlesex, my friend, it stands for…for Mazloom (the victim).”

“Victim as in the Dawn Leaks that many accuse an under training…”

“Shut up. Anyway, going back to the jail shut down, let me understand the claim of the Punjab government: that the jail which is meant to keep its inmates inside requiring security personnel does not have the capability to ensure that those outside with intent to harm its inmates…”

“The inmates are under lock and key and unless they can pick a lock, though I am sure there are many inmates jailed for being able to pick locks…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“Right OK this is serious while those wishing to enter the jail and do harm to one or more inmates or to the entire jail infrastructure which was paid for by our tax rupees…”

“You do get distracted anyway, my question is different. The jailers cannot ensure the safety of The Man Who Must Remain Nameless currently resident in a jail if his lawyers and family members are allowed to see him yet The Third Wife who also faces security threats is resident at home…”

“The home of The Man Who Must Remain Nameless, which is not hers to inherit as per the marriage agreement…”

“First or second?”

“I am not going to answer that but anyway his wife who no one, including the Khanzadehs, are not too enamoured of which means no threat to her security…”

“Hey, as I keep telling you in this country, revenge is a dish best served piping hot.”

“But it is at a cost to the ruling party’s popularity.”

“Maybe, but they are in a honeymoon period – and no honeymoon a la Pakistan style does not mean you can do no wrong, it simply means elections are not due for another five years and so…”

“I get it, the revenge dish is being served piping hot!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024

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