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“So The Khan thanked the Three Stooges for diverting the attention of the public away from the price of tomatoes and…and…potato was it?”

“Well, tomato is a key ingredient for cooking Pakistani food while potato is a vegetable loved by all — I mean I hate aubergine, my mum hates okra, my dad hates…”

“OK, OK, I get it potato is much loved by all but I reckon The Khan’s selection of tomato and potato was based on whatever came to his mind at the time…”

“Or perhaps he doesn’t know cooking so is unaware of the key ingredients used in our cooking — I mean there is the cooking oil whose price is sky rocketing courtesy the State Bank of Pakistan…”

“Oye where does the SBP come in?”

“The erosion of the rupee to absorb the shock of a widening trade deficit…”

“You mean instead of raising the discount rate?”

“Yes, so if you keep the discount rate constant then you are benefitting the large scale manufacturing sector, which is owned mainly by the very rich and the very influential, while you want to checkmate imports by making the rupee cheaper therefore the imports are more expensive which incidentally is passed onto the consumers…”

“And cooking oil is imported.”

“Indeed, but why do you think The Khan and the Opposition are confident of their success in the vote of no confidence…”

“The Opposition is confident because of successful talks with the allies and of course the disgruntled PTI MNAs and MPAs.”

“But no one has come out in public to state that they will not vote in The Khan’s favour.”

“Right and that is where the cookie crumbles.”

“Excuse me — the cookie?”

“The cookie is the government and it will crumble to smithereens if how shall I put it? If the disrupted telephone lines are restored in time but you know…”

“And the likelihood of that happening?”

“Well you know Pakistan’s infrastructure as repeatedly and rightly pointed out by The Khan is weak, I mean sometimes it takes months for a disrupted connection, other times it takes less than…than…”

“Less than the time required to requisition the national assembly and…”

“Yeah, yeah, and you know it is the previous governments who are responsible for this weak infrastructure and as The Khan has stated again and again and again…”

“Hmmm, do you reckon that is why the Maulana said let Maryam lose again and allow her to lead the march from Lahore?”

“Ha ha, and Shebaz Sharif be damned.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022

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