Partly Facetious: The constipation challenge

“Hmmmm…”

“That sounds ominous.”

“Hey hmmmm is a sound that we Pakistanis make when we…we…”

“Suffer from constipation?”

“Don’t be facetious, I mean we are in 2023 so please stop your facetious comments…”

“Suffer from diarrhoea?”

“Stop, as you have shown people don’t change just cause the year changes.”

“In spite of new year resolutions?”

“In spite of them. Nawaz Sharif still wants to be prime minister, his daughter still wants to be his heir, First Uncle is struggling with the economy of the country….”

“And that brings me to my earlier comment.”

“What comment? All you said was hmmmm.”

“Yes and I would like to state for the record that Dar would never ever have dared to put weather before the Prime Minister had Nawaz Sharif been the prime minister.”

“I don’t get you, weather before the prime minister?”

“Didn’t he say due to weather and in the next breath, not the first one, the second breath of his televised address on keeping petrol prices unchanged for the next 15 days did he say and as per the Prime Minister’s directives…”

“I have it on good authority that his reference to the prime minister did not merit the use of capitals.”

“What in the world are your referring to?”

“You said as per the Prime Minister’s directives, Dar said as per the prime minister’s directives.”

“You are so bad…”

“Eat your heart out! He ain’t going till…”

“Till the chickens come home to roost.”

“Cluck, cluck, cluck…the chickens are reportedly looking at the most auspicious dates…”

“Stooooop.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023