PARTLY FACETIOUS: The Queen’s funeral

“Did you watch the Queen’s funeral?”

“Yes I loved the pageantry and the grieving family and oh I did see Shehbaz Sharif on BBC during the ceremony at Westminster Abbey and contrary to my expectations…”

“Why contrary? I mean it wasn’t as if he ever said he would allow his niece to attend – I mean that poor woman has protocol, she has the security team, but alas she is still resident in Raiwind…”

“I hear that’s one hell of a luxurious…”

“That may be great shakes for you but not for her – she has entered the Prime Minister’s house as a legitimate resident, she has entered the seat of all power in this country legitimately, she was taken by daddy to the US and there she engaged with Michelle Obama…”

“But not in her own right yet!”

“Well, for that day to arrive there have to be some funerals…”

“Don’t be morbid, anyway what do you reckon Maryam Nawaz would have worn at the Queen’s funeral? I mean would her trainer, Parveen Rashid, have provided guidance to her that the in-colour is not red or pink or yellow or…”

“Two things, first it’s Parvez Rashid and second I have never seen P Rashid in any colour but white or black…”

“There you go! He should change party and join The Khan who knows the difference between good and evil – no? Don’t get it!? Black or white – evil or good?”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway when I referred to Shehbaz Sharif at the funeral I was referring to the fact that contrary to my expectation he wore a sherwani! Why are you laughing!”

“So a sherwani is appropriate to take oath as the prime minister and to attend the Queen’s funeral?”

“Anyway if Maryam had attended…”

“That was not going to happen, I mean The Khan would have attended and need I add his colours and clothes would have been identical to those worn by Shehbaz Sharif!”

“Ah the commonalities between The Khan and the SS…anyway the entire country observed silence for two minutes and the visiting cricket team also observed silence for two minute on the day of the funeral…what?”

“Perhaps we should have sent a minister not to be named to the funeral…”

“Why? Because he would have cried and used that much-used handkerchief of his?”

“No because he would have had to stay quiet for the duration of the service and maybe that is one way to train him to shut up and instead put up.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022