“If you play cricket you can clean bowl your opponent and perhaps you would not need an umpire if it is an unqualified clean ball if you know what I mean.”
“But you would still need the umpire to raise his finger, I mean without that finger being raised the batter will not be technically declared out.”
“Perhaps in Test cricket or T-20 or whatever, but in back street cricket anything goes and especially when the ball topples the wicket, I mean there is no umpire and so no leg before wicket or a dacoit face before the ball…”
“There is no such out as dacoit face before the ball.”
“I was being facetious, but you know what I meant.”
“I guess, but the umpire for your information raises his index finger not the ring finger…”
“If he raises his ring finger you reckon his heart would be involved? Don’t forget there is divorce and Islam does not specify the number of divorces allowed in a lifetime.”
“Don’t be facetious. All I meant was the umpire raises the index finger and I was reminded of Michael Moore, the American filmmaker’s comment: as a quiet salute to Beavis and Butthead (fictional characters in an animated series) I held up my index finger and thumb in an L — international sign of loser.”
“Oh shush — the game is still on.”
“As I said it appears to be street cricket and The Khan has never played street cricket, now Zardari sahib has and…”
“Stop it — cricket is not being played but a card game — I mean none of the opposition leaders are fit enough to play cricket…”
“Neither is The Khan at his age…”
“Right, but he would still beat the three hands down if there is an umpire.”
“Now you are undermining…”
“I didn’t mean it that way, I meant he would not win in street cricket. Anyway I reckon politics is not cricket but a card game.”
“Right, and The Khan will play his trump card a day before the vote.”
“Unless he has the ace he can be over-trumped.”
“He reckons he has the ace but I reckon the ace, king and queen are no longer in the deck that he is being dealt from.”
“Hmmm, that leaves the jack…”
“Indeed we will find out who the jack is on the day before the vote.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2022
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