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Opinion Print edition: 2024-06-06

PARTLY FACETIOUS: ‘Some poodles are more equal than others…’

“So, what is with the debates between Starmer and Sunak?” “Well, you can’t accuse the British of doing a...
Published Updated

“So, what is with the debates between Starmer and Sunak?”

“Well, you can’t accuse the British of doing a poodle because the US has been having debates between the two presidential candidates from the two parties for decades and…”

“I would just say two things – first granted that a poodle is considered one of the most intelligent dog breeds but as they say some poodles are more equal than others…”

“I don’t get that!”

“That brings me to my second point. The last UK prime minister who was referred to as a poodle was Tony Blair, and Blair didn’t hesitate for a second to toe the President Bush line in launching attacks against Saddam Hussein’s Iraq on the basis of a dodgy dossier…”

“But US debates have been going on for…”

“Let me complete my point. Sunak went to University in the US, and so he challenged Starmer to a debate the first time he was up for elections, I mean don’t forget the guy was selected by his parliamentary party and not even by the Conservatives members.”

“Selected hunh! Reminds me of so many prime ministers…”

“Hush, anyway, do you reckon our potential prime ministerial candidates may ever agree to a debate?”

“No and no and no.”

“Three times no? Is that reminiscent of Julius Caesar refusing the crown that was offered…”

“No my friend, first no because I can’t imagine any agreement on who would conduct the debate. I mean as we know there are…”

“Yes, I get it….what is the second no?”

“Second, no because there is a danger that all potential candidates would become verbally abusive during the debate and third, they may become physical as well…”

“Ï know for a fact that the Sharifs are not into physical abuse for fear of perhaps losing to physically fitter opponents…”

“How about getting Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN)…”

“The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless may put up The Third Wife and I hear a face to face between the two women may be to the detriment of NMN because spiritual…”

“Oh shush. Anyway, I think they should put up the multiple hatted Deputy Prime Minister - I am referring to the Greedy for Portfolio Samdhi…”

“Bad idea – don’t forget the 42-page handwritten affidavit by the GPS throwing his counterpart Samdhi into the…the….”

“Frying pan but don’t forget the burner under the pan can be switched off in the land of The Pure.”

“That is certainly true.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024

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