PARTLY FACETIOUS: Einstein’s theory doesn’t explain the black hole

“The theory of relativity is close to the hearts of the people of the Land of the Pure.”

“Well I for one reckon, that by naming our country the Land of the Pure placed an inordinate, let me emphasize this word, inordinate pressure on us simple folks with little education and even less aptitude to learn from the past mistakes….”

“The Samdhi says that by having a goal that is unlikely to be met…”

“Not unlikely, impossible, to be met in his case.”

“Don’t get personal, anyway the samdhi, the only individual whose portfolio is reserved as long as Nawaz Sharif remains the party’s supremo…”

“Hey use correct terminology, the staff of Press Information Department (PID) whose salaries are paid by the taxpayers and whose air-conditioners are run at our expense and…”

“Oh dear, trivialities all.”

“OK, anyway PID has begun to refer to Nawaz Sharif as the Supreme Leader, reminiscent of the Ayatollah’s of Iran – religious, temporal, all leadership combined…”

“But let me throw a spanner in your works, he has no djinn!”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway as the samdhi says put the goal post far away from what is possible so that those in the race can strive harder…why are you laughing?”

“Let him go out on the streets of the Land of the Pure.”

“Not happening, he sticks to the Blue Area with his protocol and while outside the country he sticks close to the Supreme Leader but without protocol…”

“Right, anyway when you referred to the theory of relativity I was pleasantly surprised that we from the Land of the Pure understand a rather challenging concept of Physics for as you know Einstein’s theory of relativity states that what we perceive as gravity arises from the curvature of space and time.”

“Two things my friend, first Einstein’s theory doesn’t explain the black hole and we in the Land of the Pure are pushing and kicking each other to be the first ones to jump into the black hole. And second when I referred to the theory of relativity I was being kinda literal. You know we vote based on how we rank candidates. For example, there are no takers between The Khan and Maryam Nawaz…”

“That’s not true, The Man With No Portfolio, the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless and Tallal Chaudhary.”

“OK so a handful, anyway I hear the Supreme Leader has realized that making someone a beneficial owner or showering one’s heir with gifts is easy peasy compared to passing on the party leadership and so his work is not yet done.”

“I reckon as long as the Supreme Leader is alive he will be a candidate for the post of prime minister so Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN) will have to wait for his passing and then the transition may not be as easy as…as…as…”

“As keeping the finance ministry for the samdhi?”

“Indeed.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023