PARTLY FACETIOUS: The victim card

“The question is how can you play the victim card effectively?”

“Well you can’t look overfed and be wearing clothes that cost more than the cumulative six-month average income of the bulk of your voters.”

“And the makeup…”

“Mian sahib is naturally rosy complexioned…oh you meant his daughter.”

“I am not a Khan apologist, actually I am saddened that a super-fit guy like The Khan has been most of his life, has clearly gained weight and can no longer look like a victim…”

“See that strengthens my point – The Khan is not worried. A worried man will lose weight.”

“Weight is like our politics – it creeps up on you without your knowledge and…”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway Nawaz Sharif said the same o same o so I don’t reckon it will get him any more votes.”

“You reckon if he returns the PML-N will sweep the polls?”

“That’s what he has been told but don’t forget he was also told that hundreds of thousands would be at the airport to welcome him and his daughter back in July 2018 and the only ones there were the jailers who took them both to jail…”

“That was a major miscalculation…”

“The Nawalas are saying it was not a miscalculation but…”

“Yeah, yeah I know where you are going with this but Nawaz Sharif said on Sunday they should have let him go visit his wife when she was ailing for a few weeks and he would have returned, and that statement did not gel with the fact that he pledged to return in November 2019 and is overdue by three years today…”

“Hmmmm, anyway I would urge Nawaz Sharif and Daughter to please, please, take advice from lawyers, from those qualified or at least those who have a portfolio before making public statements…”

“Right Nawaz Sharif’s miscalculations are kinda the origin of legends…”

“Yes but do you reckon Nawaz Sharif was not playing the victim card as much as playing the avenging card?”

“What colour is that card?”

“As red as the scarf he was wearing…”

“That was burgundy not red, the colour of Merlot, a rich red wine…”

“No silly the burgundy colour was well chosen, it is 50 percent red and red denotes avenging a slight however imagined, 13 percent blue which is what his daughter was wearing and…”

“Oh dear let them be, we all have our own levels of suffering - you may not think they have suffered but they do and that’s the key.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022