PARTLY FACETIOUS: Questionable marketing tactics must be avoided

“Overexposure in the media is bad for business, or so say the surveyors.”

“Pakistani surveyors have a tendency to…shall we say…favour the already favoured…”

“We Pakistanis are being subjected to too much politics and that too basic 101.”

“101?”

“In the US freshman level courses, you know the first year of college, begin with 100, second year 200 and so on but…but…wait hear me out…the first year you normally get basic introduction to a subject, mostly definitions, not the meat of the subject if you know what I mean.”

“So?”

“So my point is we Pakistanis are being subjected to politics 101 and on a regular basis which probably accounts for a general disenchantment of politicians…”

“Define regular basis?”

“Well, the prime minister is on our screens at least three times a day and while previously he would let us take the weekend off now he doesn’t and…”

“It shows his commitment to the uplift of the public.”

“He can take measures without coming on television is my point. Let me share some academic research on the most effective way to get public attention through the media. First, social media updates, of the party head or his many minions, must give some breathing space between updates, second talk less about the major pillar of your narrative, say accountability, if you haven’t been able to implement it across the board, third remember all things in moderation which means that those who…”

“That last is not appropriate – I mean if that were to be made effective there would be at least 20 two to three dozen unemployed in all political parties.”

“Hmmmm, anyway questionable marketing tactics must be avoided for example insisting on accountability ain’t holding too much water, what with the closure of NAB cases of Maalam Jabba and…”

“Do you know who is the most maligned of us all?”

“If you listen to the media teams then I guess all are equal: The Khan is maligned by the PPP and the PML-N, Nawaz Sharif is maligned by the PTI and by the PPP, Zardari sahib is maligned by the PTI but not by the PML-N anymore and…”

“Ha, ha, that’s true and I heard that Maryam Nawaz has made herself ill because she was barred from talking against the PPP leadership.”

“Ha, ha, that’s true but my word of advice to those who engage in over exposure: be honest, be generous…”

“One man or woman’s honesty is another’s dishonesty. Anyway there is one man who is not over exposing himself these days and that is Shehbaz Sharif…”

“That’s true, but unfortunately his path is paved with thorns and barbed wire is all around him and as he painstakingly opens a little space to escape along comes the Big Bad Wolf and…”

“What is the gender of the Wolf?”

“Don’t be facetious anyway the most maligned is neither of these three leaders but the Chairman NAB and you know getting rid of him does not even entail employing the minus one formula that remains an option in this country even though it has never ever worked…and yet Javed Iqbal, the easiest to get rid of, retains his position.”

“That’s karma for you.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021