PARTLY FACETIOUS: Punjabi shers (lions)

“Did you see the Oscars?”

“Not the Hollywood version.”

“Don’t be silly Oscars is only the Hollywood version. Oh were you referring to some Bollywood award ceremony – I mean they have so many, its mind boggling and…”

“Nope, I was referring to the Oscar performance by our politicians and need I add the newcomers have become more adept at acting in public.”

“Were you referring to the bollocking given by The Khan to the pro-Jehangir Khan Tareen group and while they should have slunk away with their tails between their legs but instead they said all is well and the Prime Minister listened and…”

“Ha, ha, that was good acting – and kudos to The Khan – he transformed Punjabi shers (lions) into billy cats in less than an hour.”

“I define a sher as a Gullu Butt and PTI doesn’t have Gullu Butts, they have tigers and the tigers are at home these days…”

“That’s something – I mean considering that the entire country is violating the Corona SOPs it’s only the tigers who seem to be heeding The Khan’s instructions if they are at home…”

“Don’t be facetious…I want to bring it to the notice of Usman Dar that the public doesn’t listen to the tigers – I mean we ignore law enforcement agencies with uniforms so it was naïve to expect that you give a PTI cap and a t-shirt to a force? Was it? And we, the citizens of Pakistan, would listen…”

“Good heavens, anyway our politicians are better actors than those who win Oscars – and more entertaining and…”

“There is no Brad Pitt here, no Chris Helmsworth, no…”

“You have The Khan who more than matches all of them put together – besides the names suggest you are not gender neutral.”

“People are not gender neutral you silly…”

“I meant you did not mention any actress – there is no Angelina Jolie here though I have it on good authority that some reckon they are comparable…”

“If I recall correctly Ayla Malik had beauty and…”

“I give up on you.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021