PARTLY FACETIOUS: Was 10-wicket loss to BD before the attacks in Balochistan?

“The ones that have been conferred two hats…” “There was no discussion – it was here, take it…” “What in the world are you talking about?”

“Confer means to discuss, converse, doesn’t it!”

“Dear, dear, me. Your proficiency in the English language is as limited as…as…”

“The Third Wife of the Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless. And before you accuse me of being partisan, didn’t she tell the investigators not to speak to her in English because she wasn’t that educated…”

“Yes, she did, and I blame Khawar Maneka for that.”

“Oh you reckon if she had married The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless at a younger age she may have learnt the language and…”

“Don’t think that would have worked. He married someone whose first language was English. But anyway The Third Wife has become rather religious in her imagery – rats falling from the ceiling, isn’t that kinda reminiscent of what happened during the lifetime of Moses to the Egyptian ruler…”

“Stop right there. If I recall correctly, there were frogs and lice and blood…”

“No rats?”

“No rats. Well, there you go, another example of fake news circulating in the social media.”

“Right anyway going back to the two hats I reckon some training must presage the conferring of two hats. There was the Brown Pope sitting in the Pakistan Cricket Board office while condemning the horrendous attacks in Balochistan and…”

“Look at the sequence – maybe the ten wicket loss to Bangladesh was before the attacks in Balochistan and…”

“The match on the 25 of August while the attacks took place one day later on the 26 of August and The Brown Pope’s press conference was on the 26 of August.”

“Hmmmm.”

“No comment?”

“Well no, give me a minute, it takes me a bit of time to change my narrative.”

“Which school did you go to? The same one as our Information Minister?”

“Please don’t share what I am about to tell you with anyone. But I have it on good authority that The Third Wife thought of the rats because as you and I know they squeak and the Information Minister’s voice is uncannily…”

“Shut up!”

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