PARTLY FACETIOUS: We have achieved stability?

“So a grand state owned entity (SOE) sale is on the cards.”

“Indeed and this means incoming dollars, strengthening foreign exchange reserves and happy days.”

“What about foreign direct investment. I believe yet another pledge for 10 billion dollars from United Arab Emirates…”

“Is it in addition to previous pledges or is it an additional pledge?”

“Don’t undermine the efforts of the stakeholders – I mean how dare you!”

“I don’t understand your anger. All I am asking is whether the recent 10 billion dollar pledge is in addition to the 10 billion dollar pledge made earlier…”

“Oh I thought you were obliquely referring to the date of the first pledge of 10 billion dollar inflows.”

“No I didn’t think of it, but just out of curiosity when was the pledge first made – does it pre-date the Samdhi’s appointments.”

“Why is appointments in plural?”

“You collect stamps as a hobby, Zardari sahib collects Bilawal houses as a hobby, Nawaz Sharif collects flats and estates as a hobby and The Man Who Should Remain Nameless and Faceless collects…”

“Wives”?

“You know what? That makes me think, in the arena of marriage the incumbent prime minister scores more than The Man Who Should Remain Nameless and Faceless!”

“Don’t be facetious anyway what I was referring to were the recent additional portfolio bestowed on and foreign minister.”

“You mean Deputy Prime Minister? I will have you know that one member of the foreign office exhibited stupidity to the nth degree by sending a press release where GPS was referred to simply as foreign minister without reference to his more important portfolio of Deputy Prime Minister…”

“Yeah I heard he has been transferred to Gaza as Pakistan’s…”

“Don’t be silly – I don’t think we have an embassy in Gaza. He has been transferred to darkest Africa.”

“How dark could it be – Pakistan has a poverty level of 40 percent and I hear Sub Sahara Africa has a comparable rate?”

“All is well now my friend – the Cabinet tells us, the International Monetary Fund staff tells us that we have achieved stability, then; there is…”

“I still can’t make ends meet with my pay - anyway the grand sale of SOEs is on and may I humbly bring it to the notice of the stakeholders that there must be no sovereign guarantees extended as those dratted multilateral staff members are insisting such guarantees not exceed a certain percentage which if I recall correctly has already been breached.”

“Didn’t the administration of the Man Who Should Remain Nameless and Faceless decree that guarantees would no longer be 2 percent of GDP but five times that…”

“Was it his administration or…or…”

“Well it’s either him or the boogie.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024