PARTLY FACETIOUS: Farogh Naseem ‘the great defender’

“Have you noted that each subsequent government goes one step more than its predecessor?”

“Do you mean ahead?”

“Nope, and I don’t want to say back after the President signed off on the Prevention of Electronic Crimes Amendment (PECA) ordinance.”

“Farogh Naseem, The Great Defender, has claimed ownership of the amendments and…”

“Oh, is he back?! I thought he had taken another leave of absence to defend…”

“Right, which is why I referred to him as the Great Defender — he has defended big names…”

“And attacked some other big names.”

“Read Animal Farm where it states that all are equal but some are more equal than others.”

“Indeed, time will tell whether his selection of who to defend and who to attack will stand him in good stead. But you have to give him credit for the PECA. I mean with a stroke of a pen he has transformed cybercrime from a civil case to a criminal offense, non-bailable…”

“Right, but the seeds of this were laid by the previous administration, ah I see what you mean, it’s a step more. Two questions: first, will the cyber wing of FIA be strengthened. I mean I complained about being trolled three years ago and…”

“Justice has to start from the top down…you know that’s the natural balance of things, rainfalls from above, snow fall does too and…”

“I fill a glass of water and its bottoms up.”

“Oh shush, anyway my second question is if I say that Imran Khan has aged well on my twitter account can I be charged under PECA.”

“No, but if you say he looks old then that’s not true and so yes you may be charged.”

“What about those dratted corrupt opposition leaders who have not yet been convicted, so barring Nawaz Sharif and daughter, can The Khan be charged under PECA?”

“All I can say is that for the first time ever I agree with Maryam Nawaz – that this ordinance will be used against The Khan and his loyalists in time; anyway that’s not what I was referring to when I said each government takes one step more…”

“Stop right now. And don’t talk of inflation, it’s a global phenomenon and your harping on that may come under PECA.”

“Nope, I was not referring to that either. I was referring to the rise in the number of stray dogs in the federal capital — I saw four strolling on our constitution avenue and…”

“The ones in the capital are vaccinated but the ones in Sindh are not.”

“I hear the courts have given stay orders to CDA not to kill them but then shouldn’t the court give the order to keep them in a dog pound like in the West?”

“Shut up, the PECA also refers to punishment for bad mouthing the judiciary.”

“Oooops, sorry, sorry, sorry.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022