PARTLY FACETIOUS: Difference between ‘bum’ and ‘bomb’

“I guess making a fashion statement is the antithesis of religion.”

“You come up with some real bum ideas!”

“Bomb as in atom bomb - akin to the expected impact of Pakistan Democratic Movement resignations en masse, a la Bilawal Bhutto Zardari?”

“I said bum not bomb. Besides you know as well as I that The Khan’s Third Wife has opted to not, I repeat not, lead a public life and so any comment…”

“Hey, I ain’t talking about her fashion statement – and as far as I know not even members of the PDM make any reference to her, certainly not Maryam Nawaz…”

“That reminds me Lord Byron wrote she walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies…”

“Wow, you really are a fan!”

“The trouble with you is that you always jump the gun so please hear me out. See I am reminded of Lord Byron’s poem because Maryam Nawaz epitomizes chaadar aur chaar diwari where ever she sleeps in the night, remember what happened in a Karachi hotel…”

“Translated chaadar aur chaar diwari means a proper place for a woman is behind a veil and within the four walls of her home and that’s what The Khan’s Third Wife does and not Maryam Nawaz!”

“On a technical point, in a jail cell would the chaadar aur chaar diwari principle apply day and night?”

“Don’t be facetious. Anyway when I said a fashion statement has no room in religion I was not referring to our politicians but to Tirath Singh Rawat, newly appointed chief minister of Uttarakhand, who while addressing a workshop organised by the State Commission for Protection of Child Rights referred to a woman he met on the flight accompanied by two children wearing boots, jeans ripped on the knees, and several bracelets on her arm and queried you run an NGO, wear jeans ripped at the knees, move about in society, children are with you, what values will you teach?”

“Maryam Nawaz has never been photographed wearing ripped jeans – her only concession to her vast wealth has been fur coats and fur lined shawls and foreign shoes and…”

“Oh shush!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021