PARTLY FACETIOUS: Moustache a disability?

“There is no one here in Islamabad but us chickens.”

“Viola! And need I add it took you long enough to support one of The Khan’s brilliant ideas: to provide chickens to underprivileged women to lift them from poverty and…”

“Excuse me, but when I said there is no one left in Islamabad but us chickens I was referring to the spineless cabinet that okayed the summary of an agreement that shall remain unseen, reminds me of the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless – is he praying for our cricket team to collapse in the T20……”

“Oh shush - I heard some Cabinet members, those with weight on their side, have requested some discussions in the cabinet…”

“What weight? Are you talking pounds around the middle or what?”

“Weight as in influence with the Prime Minister…stop, stop why are you laughing?”

“Hey this is not a laugh, this is a snigger and before you ask me a laugh is more of a guffaw which all can hear and a snigger is an aside and an aside it is…”

“Don’t be facetious, this is serious anyway I want to know if the chickens have been delivered to the underprivileged women and have they then graduated from the Ehsaas programme and…”

“If you are being facetious then let me inform you that a news report dated August this year revealed that The Buzz had launched breed chicken programme titled appropriately as ‘murghi paal’ and that is why he is so beloved by the Prime Minister in spite of those shifty eyes and…”

“Hey back off that’s a disability.”

“What about the moustache, is that a disability?”

“Oh shush, anyway Assistant Director and Project Supervisor Dr Athar Mehmood stated in August this year that all chickens to be distributed in Punjab are raised at 10 government poultry farms. And 400 flock of chickens have been distributed in Rawalpindi at a subsidy of 1050 rupees while the actual price was 1500 rupees…”

“Cool and how many are in a flock?”

“He didn’t say but the dictionary says a group of chickens is called a flock and the term is broad and is used to describe any group of chickens regardless of age or gender…”

“That sounds too Western for my liking – we care about age and gender and…”

“I give up.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021