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Opinion Print edition: 2020-04-30

Partly Facetious : We have trace and track

"So we dropped a t."
Published April 30, 2020 Updated April 30, 2020 12:07am

"So we dropped a t."

"I don't get you?"

"We dropped one of the ts and you know that's a no, no."

"In English, the t sound is harsh while in Urdu the sound is softer, for a softer t like in Urdu, the English language requires an h to be added as in th for example the or thematic as opposed to tailor or towel or..."

"Hey, we also have a letter for the harsh t, and my question: so what?"

"Oh I meant that in countries where smart lockdown has contained the coronavirus there are three ts - test, track and trace. In Pakistan we have trace and track if you know what I mean."

"Hey our control and command center has representation from civilian and defense institutions and need I add they have the intelligence to..."

"Don't be facetious."

"I am being serious, Yasmin Rashid, the Punjab health Minister stated that everyone who is suspected of the virus is tested, we don't have that many test kits in this country to test everyone so..."

"So the suspected person has to himself or herself come forward and if he or she tests positive then all those he/she met would be tracked and then traced and then tested if you know what I mean."

"Don't say suspected say infected."

"OK, but you give too much importance to words. Surely you have heard the expression sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."

"In the Islamic Republic of Pakistan words can endear or generate antipathy."

"I don't get you?"

"Heard about the Tiger Force?"

"Ah yes, but as I said to you before, tiger is the election emblem of Nawaz Sharif's party and here is The Khan hijacking the word and that too using it inappropriately and..."

"Excuse me? What's with the inappropriate?"

"Tiger is a loner, doesn't stay in packs like lions, and The Khan's tiger force, then and now, consists of packs of people..."

"Ah so the coronavirus can spread like fire within the force?"

"No I meant a more appropriate animal would be one that goes in packs - you have lions, then there are wolves and..."

"And bees and ants..."

"You being facetious?"

"Good heavens no! But shouldn't the tiger force have been activated by now I mean what is Usman (not PML-N) Dar waiting for? The pandemic to end!"

"I think he is refining their terms of reference. I mean the applicants are untrained so does he train them first or lets them loose allowing them to get on the job training."

"But what if they catch the disease?"

"Then they are the infected so they can go and get themselves tested and then the two t formula will be activated and..."

"Hey be serious, lives will depend on this."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2020

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