Partly Facetious : The mental health challenge

"Do you know the most challenging job ever?"

"According to a study by psychologists, a pilot's job is the most challenging, the number of heart attacks they suffer is the highest and..."

"That study was done in the West, and its results need not apply here. If we would only begin to do research on say why Pakistanis are committing suicide in such large numbers perhaps we will be able to deal with the problem."

"There is much talk of mental health problems in Pakistan these days - apparently one in six of us have mental issues..."

"Ha, ha, ha..."

"This is serious, I mean..."

"I agree; I was just amused because I believe there is a linkage between those selected to rule over us and our mental health..."

"What are you, a closet politician? Taking a fact and rationalizing it in a way that best suits you without, I repeat, without conducting any research. This approach is followed even by Pakistanis who have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars of their parents' money to get educated abroad; one example is our two economic team leaders."

"You reckon had they studied locally like many of our politicians they too would have reached the same mind set."

"Yes I do, but anyway that brings me to what I think is the most challenging job ever and..."

"I know that of prime minister, The Khan is facing multiple..."

"You got it only partly right. Wait let me finish, you got it partly right because it is indeed the most challenging job on offer in Pakistan today but... wait... but it is his role as a selector that is even more challenging and..."

"Selector?"

"Remember when he played cricket The Khan would insist on having a say in who was selected as a member of his team - he made sure has-beens like Umer Akmal were not on his team..."

"But what if he thought an Umer Akmal was a Wasim Akram?"

"There you go - his selection while the cricket team captain was great but his selection as the team captain of the federal and Punjab cabinet team isn't..."

"The number of the cabinet team is four to five times that of a cricket team and..."

"That is because the twelfth man is not one man as in cricket but more than 30..."

"I guess but one twelfth man, Ijaz Shah, has locked down red zone a good month before the scheduled march by the Maulana, a march that it is not certain will even take place..."

"He isn't the twelfth man silly, he is the man who ensures that his team members are not outed by the umpire on account of leg before the wicket."

"God in heaven! Closet? Outed? Get your vocabulary right my friend."

"We speak English dated back to the 1970s when The Khan lived there..."

"I give up."