PARTLY FACETIOUS: Stage for pir manhandling has been set?

“Shah Mehmud Qureshi was manhandled by the police.”

“Punjab police?”

“Don’t make it an ethnic issue – police operate in exactly the same way in all our provinces, heavy-handed when so instructed.”

“I disagree – the Punjab police has a reputation for heavy-handedness that the others can’t compete with and is sourced to our, and by our, I mean us Punjabis, capacity to bend over backwards to please the executive whosoever they are. Then there is…”

“Whosoever they are? Didn’t The Man Who Must Remain Nameless constantly complain about the Punjab bureaucracy derailing him every step of the way because it was appointed by the Brothers Sharif?”

“Oh, I thought the numerous changes were due to Wasim Akram plus.”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“I am not being facetious, the constant changing was due to The Now Disappeared Buzdar/ Gogi/five or is it six Stepchildren….”

“Oh that reminds me you pointed out that Shah Mehmud Qureshi was manhandled, and we all know he is a spiritual head, a pir, does that mean the stage for pir manhandling has been set?”

“Not gender-neutral my friend, and the reason is our police has yet to deal with a pirni – it’s uncharted waters, if you know what I mean, so wait and see, oh and another distinction is that pir Shah Mehmud has a large following that gets him elected while the pirni has a limited following – I mean how many people can she meet in a day, a week, a month, a…”

“You are so limited in your thinking. The Third Wife, if that is who you are referring to, at one time had all the powerful people under her guidance and exerted much more power than Shah Mehmud Qureshi, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

“I quit smoking a long time ago, anyway the Sindh police is a tad more adept at taking bribes and are more, how shall I put it, willing to dispose-off a problem permanently.”

“I am reminded of the case of Haji Ataullah, a traffic policeman, run over and killed by Majeed Khan Achakzai’s car in Quetta, a member of the Pakhtunkhwa Milli Party, who was acquitted in 2017 by a court.”

“And the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa police?”

“They are the victim of terrorists these days, but it was one of the best performing police in the country after reforms during the Khattak administration, though they were later reversed and the credit and then discredit for that belongs to his party leader…”’

“No names.”

“Anyway, KPK police is now competing with the police in other provinces.”

“How about a mismatch – send the Punjab police to Sindh, the KPK police to Punjab….”

“You are insane.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023