PARTLY FACETIOUS: An ultimately retired army chief

“The outgoing army chief…” “How about the ultimately retired army chief!”

“I can’t understand you Khanzadehs, human beings have the capacity to think and do change their minds over time; and the former head of the army may have been flabbergasted with the outpouring of venom against him but was unlikely to be intimidated by it.”

“Stop right there. Venom just because I used the word ultimately?! For venom go to the social media and public addresses and…”

“OK but he is gone now – yes he did a Nawaz Sharif as he antagonised both the heads of government during his tenure…”

“But not Zardari sahib.”

“Didn’t Zardari sahib a few years ago refer to the chiefs coming and going while the politicians…”

“And stayed outside the country for a few years after that comment but he learned a lesson, as a leader of a party not in power in the center he has not since made remarks that…that have been frequently made by The Khan, the Father, The Daughter and the Not So Holy Ghost, The Man Without A Portfolio…”

“Right I am not interested in the Retired Chief’s legacy but in his very last speech to the public as he handed over the baton to his successor he said his spirit would remain with the army.”

“Dear, dear, me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Since the advent and demise of the Khan empire, I have become rather suspicious of pirs (spiritual guides), their advice and the political costs they extract from their disciples.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Khan has paid a very heavy price for his affiliations with pirs.”

“I disagree - Shah Mehmud Qureshi is a pir but he follows instructions.”

“Don’t be obtuse, anyway for your information the former chief of army staff can select any spiritual guide now that he has retired because the decision will only impact on him.”

“Right but I do believe that these extensions must end.”

“I agree even for the army it is better because extensions take away promotions down the line and discourage…”

“Right, anyway what I meant to say when I referred to the outgoing chief was that the difference in age and of course its corollary fitness between the outgoing and incoming was so very marked…”

“Stooooop!!!!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022