PARTLY FACETIOUS: Honey bottle was tampered with?

“Nectar is food for the gods.” “Wow, have you crossed many, many, red lines.” “In ancient Greek and Roman mythology…”

“Oh, OK then, but why bring that up.”

“Nectar is defined as a sugar rich liquid by plants called nectaries which attract pollinators…”

“And this information would interest me because?”

“Well, bees are also considered pollinators.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“Bees produce honey.”

“So?”

“Honey has medicinal properties, there are references to its beneficial properties in hadith.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Honey is being partaken by many prominent and not so prominent citizens of the Land of the Pure.”

“Ahhhhh…in 2016 Ali Amin Gandapur was Khyber Pakhtunkhwa’s Revenue Minister, and he was accused by a Bara Kahu district police officer (DPO) of having alcohol in his possession which, so claimed Gandapur, was actually honey, and he offered to take a blood test to prove it and said the DPO should also take the blood test.”

“Right and two years later in 2018 Sharjeel Memon had some honey and engine oil in wine bottles in his hospital room where he was shifted from jail due to ill health…”

“Not good that. I reckon the police needs to be trained to distinguish honey from alcohol.”

“Agreed anyway, The Third Wife of the Man Who Must Remain Nameless told the media during her attendance in Adiala Jail that her honey bottle was tampered with, and after she partook of some honey as per her usual practice she felt ill…”

“Well, we have heard stories of the potency of her curses, and perhaps she cursed the policewomen who are guarding her, and they replaced honey with alcohol…”

“I assume she takes a spoonful of honey a day and even though it is the nectar of the devil for us pious Muslims, yet you don’t fall ill with that amount.”

“You reckon it was engine oil?”

“Hmmm could be, and it must have been high octane because for the first she was energized to get up and approach the media and was dragged back by the arm by her spouse.”

“Sad, sad, sad.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024