PARTLY FACETIOUS: An increase in Diesel’s price

“The price of diesel was raised by Rs 8.37 per litre.”

“And that to me shows that the twice consenting to become a caretaker finance minister is engaged in the same-o same-o.”

“Oh, are you referring to her lament both times she consented to become the Caretaker Finance Minister that had she known things were so bad she never would have accepted.”

“Well OK that is same-o, same-o, but no that was not what I was referring to.”

“Considering that the levy on petrol and products has been maxed at Rs 60 per litre – a levy that is an indirect tax whose incidence on the poor is greater than on the rich…”

“But they are so easy to collect, don’t require a FBR official or taking on the influentials who have exhibited a high potential of making life rather uncomfortable for a finance minister….”

“Hmmm, but I ask you: what is the difference between what she did and is doing and what Ishaq Dar, The Accountant, did?”

“Well, one commonality is that in spite of ground realities showing a picture of a deepening economic morass for the hapless people of this country during their tenures, the two have somehow convinced their appointees that they did (are doing) an exemplary job.”

“It isn’t as if their appointees have any deep knowledge of economics, right?”

“Hush, that’s a no-no. Anyway there is a widening difference between the two: Shamshad Akhtar remains trim while The Accountant more commonly referred to as The Samdhi has, in recent months, increasingly dealt with accusations of incompetence at best, outright sabotage of the economy at worst, by consuming ever-increasing quantities of food which explains his expanding girth, I mean the jackets he is now wearing are tented as much as the shirt of The Maulana.”

“Yeah, and he has taken to wearing shalwaar kameez, but in that range of weight the only way you can hide it is to stay away from the public eye.”

“Why doesn’t he! Does he not realize that his being constantly at the side of His Samdhi during the run-up to the elections may have cost the party at least ten seats?”

“Why ten?”

“Because then the party would have had the same number of seats as the independents who won on a PTI ticket.”

“Right anyway, when I said the price of diesel has been raised I was thinking of the Maulana.”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“Do you think it means that The Maulana will be talked to?”

“To, at, with, whatever is deemed appropriate.”

“I heard that with the number of seats in the assembly the Kashmir Committee chairmanship has not been offered but perhaps…”

“Talk is cheap, my friend. They need to put their money where their mouth is.”

“Aaaaah.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024