PARTLY FACETIOUS: The PTV ‘paranoia’

“What are the qualities of a good sportsman?”

“You are so not with it. I mean this is the era of gender neutrality and…”

“You have to be an animal to be neutral.”

“Oh dear!”

“Alright already I will rephrase my question: what are the qualities of a good sportsman or woman?”

“You should have added the word sports before you said woman.”

“You know ever since you returned from Montecito…”

“I would advise caution. Registering an FIR is a piece of cake these days and filing a petition even easier…”

“Especially if one is from Montecito?”

“As The Khan would say I will not extend khairaj-i-tehseen to you…”

“I have never heard him not extend his khairaj-i-tehseen to the favourite of the day in his daily interaction with the media!”

“I was being facetious…did you notice that this Monday all seventy plus channels did not show the Prime Minister interacting with the public on telephone responding to queries on the events on 3 April…”

“I did and there was a break and they went on a break, I mean a prime minister of a country has so much time that a channel dedicated to his service goes on a break in the middle…”

“It wasn’t the middle it was the start and we were told that the calls were so many that the system jammed…”

“Never heard that excuse before…”

“Naya Pakistan and all that…anyway PTV (Pakistan Television) faithfully broadcast…”

“Did anyone tell PTV that the cabinet is dissolved so they can widen their coverage to include some if not all opposition events and…”

“PTV is known to wait till the water has flown over its head.”

“But you do know we are a water scarce country!”

“Oh you literal types, with low IQs! It is so much more brainy to talk figuratively and…”

“Right, but going back to my question…”

“A good sportsperson (see gender neutral) is someone who does not give up till the last ball….”

“Even if he needs 7 runs to win?”

“Oh…well let’s ignore that anyway a good sports person must be a team player and be able to recognize talent. Now I agree it’s a tad difficult for a cricketer to recognize talent in a politician…”

“In my book a good sportsperson plays to win but displays sportsmanship when he loses.”

“You need to read more appropriate books, and for that I know of a good library in Montecito…”

“Oh shush.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022