PARTLY FACETIOUS: FIA's cyber wing

"That's interesting!"

"What? That Nawaz Sharif's ID card was used for getting vaccinated. I mean what's the big deal?"

"It's a big deal."

"Why?"

"Why is obvious, because the system malfunctioned, but I know the answer to how I know it's a big deal."

"The system malfunctioned but so what?"

"You ain't asking the right question; ask how come I know it's a big deal."

"I really don't care. I am concerned with why it malfunctioned and I think FIA cyber wing has been tasked to find out..."

"The cyber wing that has no capacity to find out the source of emails from fake accounts and..."

"The New Zealand team..."

"Hey, leave the foreigners out of this - I have been a victim of cyber-attack and a year down the line FIA's cyber wing has no clue..."

"And that surprises you! Anyway you still haven't asked me the right question."

"You aren't gonna let go are you! OK so how do you know it's a big deal?"

"The Buzz has given 24 or is it 48-hour deadline to FIA for finding out who was behind the use of Nawaz Sharif's ID card."

"Good luck with that!"

"Ha, ha, indeed; but I do wonder out of a 100 directives by the chief executive to complete investigation into any specific crime within hours does he or she who ordered it actually read the report?"

"Hmm, I would say 10 percent in the federal government (and I limit it to the executive summary), 5 percent in Sindh, 2 percent in Punjab (and that ain't The Buzz or his Jeeves namely Chauhan) and zero percent in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa."

"And these percentages are based on?"

"My perceptions, that's what our surveys are based on right."

"Don't be facetious."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021