PARTLY FACETIOUS: PM’s English accent different from…

“You say tomaiiiito a la American style and I say tomaato a la British way.”

“The difference is only in the accent, the spelling is the same, the item referred to; the same.”

“Hmmm?”

“See an accent shows where you come from which in turn will determine how you are treated.”

“All our dual nationals who land in the country as and when they reckon they can get a position speak English like us - see if they are first generation immigrants to an English-speaking country then their accent is like ours…take Governor Sarwar, take Zulfi Bukhari, they speak English just like…just like… Modi or Loser Usman Dar…”

“Stop with Usman Dar bashing – true he just can’t seem to win any elections for the party but God willing he will never give up and one day perhaps succeed…but whatever we may think of Modi he won a landslide victory!”

“The Khan won a Modi type of victory in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa – good performance leading to re-election by a much larger margin.”

“Right, but The Khan’s English accent is different from that of his army of special assistant’s though Jehangir Tareen’s accent, and Asad Umar’s accent is quite similar and…”

“Why don’t you stop pitting one Khan group against another Khan group?! Anyway my question is how would you rate the unopposed election of senators from Punjab?”

“Good, fair, because it was according to party position…”

“But doesn’t it show a vote of no confidence in The Buzz and Company’s capacity to deliver more than their numbers in the provincial assembly?”

“OK, but a sensible approach was adopted and…”

“Right, but doesn’t this also mean that the voter is not given any respect in terms of having any capacity to cast a vote according to his or her conscience?!”

“There is no conscience in politics and this is evident from the insistence of the Nawaz Leaguers to give respect to the vote, which is inanimate, rather than the voter…”

“Hmmm…”

“Anyway I would urge The Khan to quicken his reading pace - I know he is very busy with one meeting after another, one ribbon cutting after another but…”

“What in the world are you talking about?”

“It is critical to be on the same page to ensure that voters are respected and…and votes be damned.”

“Hallelujah.”

“That’s not an Islamic…”

“Sorry, Alhamdulillah…”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021