PARTLY FACETIOUS: A card game that is played by physically much less fit people

“The Khan will play his trump card this Friday, the long march will start from Liberty market Lahore.” “Hmmm, I hope you realize that the suit declared to rank above the others (the trump suit) does change from game to game. I mean in some games it could be spades, in another it could be hearts or clubs or indeed even diamonds…”

“Well if its diamonds it must be at least five karats and…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“Facetious or traitorous?”

“Right, now you are merely irritating anyway my question: since when did The Khan abandon cricket in favour of a card game that is played by physically much less fit people.”

“See that’s the trouble with our politics – no one but no one is playing cricket – I mean Zardari sahib is not well and unable to play cricket, then there is Shehbaz Sharif who is a cancer survivor and that doesn’t auger well for his fitness level…”

“The Maulana is hale and hearty?”

“The Maulana is playing whist with Kaira of the PPP.”

“Excuse me?”

“Kaira is the federal minister for Kashmir affairs and northern areas and as we all know Kashmir affairs is close to The Maulana’s heart.”

“You are so ill informed my friend. The Maulana’s office of preference has always been the chairmanship of the Kashmir committee and for your information The Khan’s henchman Afridi, the man with many changes in portfolios when The Khan was in government – minister of state for interior, minister for state for States and Frontier regions and minister of state for narcotics control…”

“Yep that last portfolio you mentioned endeared him to The Khan more than ever.”

“Anyway what bugged The Maulana the most I hear was Afridi’s appointment as chairman of the parliamentary special committee on Kashmir…”

“Indeed and Afridi’s service to the Kashmiri cause was reflected during his official all-taxpayers’ expense paid tour of the US and he took a video of Times Square and made derogatory remarks about the US administration dealing with the homeless…”

“I would urge The Khan to appoint him as the minister of state for foreign affairs next time, see all are not born diplomats and…”

“Right, anyway surely Afridi is not the chair of the Kashmir committee today.”

“No but he didn’t resign and a vote of no confidence was passed against him which makes two votes of no confidence in one year – a historical landmark that requires a monument to….”

“Stop.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022