Partly Facetious: I can't understand Mian Sahib at all

"So where is the Prime Minister?"
"He is not at Raiwind?"
"I don't think so."
"Well, if he isn't in Raiwind during the weekend then he is out of the country."
"Where?"
"Oh, I remember now...he and his wife are in Malta, to attend the Commonwealth leaders' moot, and he has a picture with David Cameron."
"The same guy who made some choice remarks against our country to our former President?"
"Which former President? Musharraf or Zardari sahib?"
"Does it matter? I mean trashing the country should elicit the same response from our president whoever he may be."
"That's true."
"It was Zardari sahib and he was proved right when he said the West was losing the war in Afghanistan and Cameron's response that Pakistan must not look both ways when fighting terrorism has been proved wrong by actions taken by the current Chief of Army Staff."
"You reckon he got the PhD degree in international relations in the end?"
"What?"
"Zardari sahib always stated that he is a student of history and he must have got the degree to come up with the right forecast if you know what I mean."
"Don't be facetious anyway Mian sahib is in Paris to attend the conference on climate change."
"Mian sahib offered counter insurgency expertise to the French after the GHQ style attack in Paris and..."
"This is what I mean when I say I can't understand Mian sahib at all. From what I have heard he is not happy with General Raheel Sharif for taking centre stage in dealings with the Western powers and then he goes off and offers the expertise of the institution that is headed by the General to other countries."
"He may have meant the special force created by his younger brother and..."
"That's true and a word of warning for the French: don't use it for electioneering, simply tell the force who to arrest and viola! The arrest will be made."
"Don't be facetious."