Partly Facetious: The culture of ribbon cuttings

"I am getting so tired of the same o same."

"What do you mean? Each year, nay each month, sometimes each day brings new surprises - they may not be what you want but certainly not same o same o."

"What I meant was the number of ribbon cuttings by our Prime Minister rivals that by his predecessors - including those projects launched by the previous administrations and those merely thought of by previous administrations and some even abandoned for financial reasons and need I add the Ravi project..."

"Indeed and taxes on consumer items particularly petroleum continue which raises input costs and the government tackles it by providing fiscal incentives that to me is simply silly - I mean why not reduce these taxes and..."

"Hey the Federal Board of Revenue's capacity to collect taxes remains compromised and need I add those withholding agents, who are not paid by the FBR though the FBR claims it monitors them, collect taxes more efficiently..."

"I have a suggestion: why not appoint all the withholding agents as FBR staff?"

"Don't be facetious."

"Anyway there is a difference my friend. The new Pakistan has a chief executive who is fitter than anyone we have had in the past."

"Benazir Bhutto was pretty fit especially the first time she won the elections, I mean she was four decades younger than The Khan is today and......."

"OK but I would have preferred if The Khan had begun jogging like US presidents."

"And got the rotund Shahzad Akbar, whose girth has yet to reach its maximum, to jog with him..."

"Yes and all his special assistants and advisors who have no constituency should also be made to jog with him to show their solidarity...."

"The man who shall remain nameless is not well so give him an exemption."

"Like he is seeking from the ..."

"Precisely, and what about allies: the Chaudharys and those of their offspring who are fit?"

"Agreed and his loyalists Murad Saeed, and Asad Umer and Hammad Azhar."

"Have you noticed that The Khan's loyalists are fit while his special assistants and advisors are not?"

"That's another difference. Who would provide security to The Khan?"

"Don't think the police will be able to provide security - Punjab police you may recall reportedly love halwa as much as the....the Maulanas....has to be military personnel..."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2020