PARTLY FACETIOUS: The Khan knows…

“Things are good as The Khan says.”

“How come? I mean prices continue to rise – yes the price of petroleum and products as well as electricity have been frozen to a level that implies heavy subsidies and…”

“How much?”

“Well, we don’t know because the Russia-Ukraine war is ongoing and so the international oil price which usually begins to decline in the summer because demand is lower is…”

“The Khan knows.”

“How can he? I mean…”

“The Khan knows and for your information, the International Monetary Fund has said Pakistan’s economy is going in the right direction and…”

“Have the seventh review talks been successful?”

“You are such a shallow person. I mean if The Khan says all is well it is well. People like you need to learn that basic principle.”

“Give me one example of things going well. I mean could you have imagined a head of government of this country actually telling off all the members of the OIC – that they failed Kashmiris and Palestinians…”

“Well they did.”

“I know but diplomatic norms…”

“Hey The Khan is the prime minister, not the Minister of Foreign Affairs.”

“OK, OK, so give me one example…”

“That’s easy peasy — Islamabad has been shut down — not smart lock down or micro lock down as inaccurately translated by decadent Westerners, including those working for international financial institutions — but complete shut down since Saturday, so that is six days of shut down. Now I ask you can any government with the kind of problems — political, economic and social — that you claim are prevalent in this country today have afforded to shut down the capital for an entire six days?!”

“I reckon that was the Sheikha, his motto: work as little as possible in his own ministry and if possible don’t let others work in theirs either.”

“Ha ha, and a corollary: in the event of a problem blame it on the opposition and where that is not possible pass on the buck to a linesman - remember when he had the railway ministry he passed on the 20 plus accidents during his tenure to a linesman or a….”

“Well look at the glass as half full — he didn’t pass it on to the passengers.”

“Hey he is a political animal and…”

“Animal, animal where have I heard that word recently?”

“OK, he is one of a kind — non-neutral animal.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022