PARTLY FACETIOUS: Learning the ropes

“So who is giving The Khan lessons on the economy?”

“The Khan has a wary eye on the economy and I would have you know…”

“The person or persons giving him lessons today are not the same who were giving him lessons before he took oath as the prime minister.”

“Duh! But of course – the one’s before were not responsible for the aftermath of a policy decision but were just criticizing decisions taken by another party however let’s call a spade a spade Dar and his flawed policies made it so very easy to criticize and…”

“And if you are calling a spade a spade then know that Nawaz Sharif is still defending Dar, I mean in his most recent interaction via utube he had the gall to claim success because the rupee was stronger during his tenure — a policy decision that not only indebted our country but also…”

“Dar is a non-entity sans his samdhi though granted that there are many who are non-entities sans Nawaz Sharif but in the case of Dar this is even more relevant than in the case of…in the case of….”

“Parveen Rashid, Marriyum Aurangzeb…”

“Get your keyboard checked silly, anyway no they would be less relevant in the party because Dar has family ties…”

“Dear, dear me, I know many families that are dysfunctional…”

“And that is not applicable to the Sharifs, not even with the Shehbaz Sharif faction though he has much cause, I reckon.”

“Yeah, yeah, but going back to The Khan’s economic teachers – from supporting no privatization, appointments on merit and reconstruction The Khan now supports privatization and wealth creation, from pledging savings in administration The Khan has increased current expenditure by over 70 percent in just three years, from anger at rupee depreciation he has allowed depreciation from May 2021 parity of 153 to today’s parity of 167 rupees to the dollar…”

“You forget the most recent – from denigrating investment on roads during the Sharif tenure he stated that his administration has built more roads…”

“So what’s the way forward?”

“We are now a cashless society like the West.”

“God be praised!”

“We have cards galore - the Benazir Income Support Programme card, the farmers’ card, the Sehat Sahulat Card, the…”

“Right, heavy reliance on cards that are paid for by the government running unsustainably high budget deficits…”

“Add the greatest irony of them all! We are on an IMF programme and…and wait more ironical we intend to stay on it.”

“Shush, The Khan, like Brutus, – is an honourable man!”

“No question sir.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021