PARTLY FACETIOUS: ‘Mafiaistan’

“So what is the unifier in the Land of the Very Pure?”

“Don’t be facetious…”

“About what?”

“About the level of our purity.”

“Excuse me, but The Khan talks of the mafia, of corruption having seeped all the way from the top office in the land, no not him but those before him, and all the way down to…”

“Down to Jehangir Tareen or is it Zulfi Bukhari?”

“I said don’t be facetious, you know I was referring to the bureaucrats at the bottom of the ladder and…”

“So you reckon the Founding Father of this nation would have named it Mafiaistan had he known what his successors would…”

“Sadly this is how our society, government and non-government, has evolved…anyway I asked you what is the unifier, not who, but what.”

“I guess it’s not elections because I have it on good authority that if elections are held today we will not have any party winning a majority…”

“Nope, not elections!”

“Is it cricket? I mean irrespective of the significant contribution to the degradation of our team during the tenure of the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless and his successor who has, God be blessed, not arrested the trend shall we say…”

“Ha, ha, a man who doesn’t even know how to fix one punctured tyre leave alone was it 30 or 35……”

“He is a good man I will have you know, instead of trying to do it himself like the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless he goes to the tyre shop and ensures that someone’s job is not compromised…”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway cricket is the game that brings all Pakistanis together – be it men or women, children, civilian or military personnel, hey even Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan are known to watch cricket with interest and support Pakistan.”

“Ah you are referring to the cabinet decision not to air Pakistan England match because we would have to buy it from an Indian company…”

“Have the 50 plus strong cabinet heard of the internet!”

“Only in cities, in rural areas the farmers, especially the cane farmers who The Khan said have been paid by the mill owners though sugar prices have not yet come down…anyway these farmers will be preparing for the next meeting with The Khan, televised no less with no Indian company required…”

“Such is life.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021