PARTLY FACETIOUS: The narrative of one country may not match another’s

“I will propose to President Trump…”

“You know he doesn’t like proposals from somebodies, leave alone nobodies.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Somebody is someone he trusts, and you certainly aren’t in that category, so in effect you are in the list of nobodies and that too not amongst the top ten.”

“Top ten?”

“The South African President Ramaphosa, the host of the G20 summit which was boycotted by President Trump, declared the summit closed but did not pass on the gavel, as is traditional, to the US, the next country to host the G20, because the US sent a junior officer to collect it.”

“I heard no US official was there.”

“Well, you know the narrative of one country may not match another’s.”

“Yes, but an event that took place…”

“How many events that take place in this country generate two wildly opposite narratives!”

“From elections to protests numbers to…”

“Precisely anyway as a nobody, perhaps not even on any list, I would propose to President Trump to appoint a Deputy President.”

“We don’t have a deputy president — we have a first lady who is his daughter but…”

“But we have a deputy prime minister, and need I add a very active one.”

“Right, oh I see, but that won’t work for President Trump.”

“Why?”

“Because unlike our chief executive Shabaz Sharif who gets much less publicity than the deputy prime minister – no doubt because he has been in the Centre for a relatively short time…”

“Give up, you won’t be able to sow discord between the two men because they come with a preordained seat at the power table – left and right and…”

“Left and right again. Last I heard, the deputy visited a meena bazaar…”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.”

“OK, but in the US you have a Vice President so no need.”

“The vice president is not as close as say a favourite child or son-in-law or a real estate partner.….”

“Think Zardari sahib, during his first term as president his prime ministers followed the straight and narrow and…”

“I get it: President Trump does not need a deputy, a vice yes because of tradition but…”

“One question: why is vice spelt with a c instead of say an s? I mean vice with a c also means depraved or…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“Is that why we prefer deputy instead of vice prime minister?”

“Shut up.”

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