PARTLY FACETIOUS: IK deserves praise

“The Khan seemed happy with the Chaudharys — father and son.”

“The Khan has done what no man before him has ever done.”

“Indeed he has, he was the cricket captain who took us to world cup victory, he has set up very well managed Shaukat Khanum cancer hospitals that treat the poor free of cost and…and he was the prime minister of this country.”

“The first prime minister who lost the vote of no-confidence.”

“It’s people like you who needlessly spread negativity.”

“But it’s true.”

“That’s not the important vote – the important is the vote of confidence I say. And he won that hands down.”

“OK, but that’s not what I meant when I said The Khan has done what no man before him has done.”

“If you are going to refer to his occupying the chief minister’s seat while father and son sat as…as…not guests but perhaps supplicants…”

“Pervez Elahi and Son have always and I mean always taken the level of sycophancy to levels that…that are much greater than the sycophancy levels ever seen before and I include The Trainer Parveen Rashid, the Man Without a Portfolio Latif the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless…”

“Get that dratted key board checked, its Parvez Rashid, my question is why did you focus only on the Maryam Nawaz sycophants – I mean are you saying it’s only the Khan and Maryam Nawaz who support…?”

“No, Maryam still has a long way to go and a start would be if her campaigning gives some positive results.”

“Back off, daddy won’t give you a ticket for next elections.”

“Anyway I would like to inform The Khan that 95 percent of the Ehsaas Programme was Benazir Income Support Programme and that is managed by the Centre where Shazia Marri now rules the roost and not Dr Sania Nishtar so when he says he is going to restart Ehsaas in Punjab…”

“And who is going to tell him that! Not the father and son, not Dr Sania Nishtar, the BISP representative in Punjab, a federal employee, perhaps not….”

I know who will delight in telling The khan that.”

“The Visionary Ahsan Iqbal?”

“Nah, his vision is focused on China Pakistan Economic Corridor again — perhaps Miftah Ismail who held yet another press conference on Sunday…”

“Hard worker that man.”

“Indeed, now only if his hard work did not focus only on bad mouthing The Khan who is not in his league and appearing on television…”

“When pigs fly, anyway the one who will tell The Khan that Ehsaas is not in his domain anymore will be Shazia Marri silly.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022