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Opinion Print 2022-03-16

PARTLY FACETIOUS: PM going to deliver last ball of his over?

“I reckon we should stop drawing analogies from cricket.” “Why? The vote of no-confidence is yet to…”...
Published March 16, 2022

“I reckon we should stop drawing analogies from cricket.”

“Why? The vote of no-confidence is yet to…”

“Well my view is what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander.”

“Of course not, there is the gender difference.”

“You are such a literal kind of person - a well-educated intelligent person often engages in allusions that are not literal but figurative…”

“And that well educated person may face jail term under the Prevention of Electronic Crimes (amendment) Act, the brainchild of Farogh Naseem, the dedicated Law Minister who managed to draft this act in between his many resignations to represent his clients…”

“Well Naseem sahib in his most recent public statement referred to being a member of the MQM…I reckon after a gap of a little over three years and a half which is rather telling…”

“Ha ha ha, but anyway as usual literal people like you have the capacity to distract – I wasn’t referring to differences of gender when I said what may be good for the goose may not be for the gander.”

“Can I make a guess?”

“OK, but the guess should focus on why I want to stop allusions to cricket when talking politics.”

“Look I disagree with your premise… The Khan is a fast bowler, you know he has begun his run-up to deliver the last ball of the over, you know his average bowling speed and you have some time to make calculations to defend yourself. How you fare depends on how good a batter you are and of course the umpire’s last minute call…”

“Hmmm, umpire’s last minute call hunh! Is that to do with neutrality?”

“That’s all I want to say on that subject. Anyway Zardari sahib is a googly master defined as a delivery which looks like a normal leg-spin but actually turns towards the right handed batsmen, like an off-break, rather than away from the bat. And you know what? He can also throw a spin ball if the occasion arises…”

“But never a fast ball, I see. So where does that leave Nawaz Sharif?”

“Slow ball thinking he is throwing a fast ball. We can all see him coming, but sometimes it takes the ball a day or two to reach the batter….”

“Don’t be facetious, but anyway when I said no analogies with cricket I wasn’t referring to the bowling capacities of The Big Three.”

“Can I make a last guess?”

“OK.”

“The fielders, and I agree fielding is very poor in all the three teams if you will…”

“Nope, I was referring to a follow-on in cricket which is a no-no, a shameful situation for a team to be in but in politics a follow on is the dream of all sitting governments.”

“There I agree.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022

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