PARTLY FACETIOUS: A ‘U-turner’

“I tell you in Pakistani politics it’s all in a name and I have renamed…”

“Don’t tell me let me guess? Shahbaz Sharif whose punch line in several of his public speeches is if something happens…”

“Or not.”

“Right, or not, then change my name though in his last speech he said that his unmet pledges reflect his ambition to provide for the people a lot sooner than a project merits.…”

“And for The Khan an unmet pledge is a u-turn instead of a delay as implied by Shahbaz Sharif in his latest speech which as per The Khan shows the leadership qualities of the U-Turner.”

“Hmmm only in Pakistan could a u-turn be transformed into a noun – u-turner.”

“Anyway Shahbaz can be renamed as The Spare, I mean like Prince Harry…”

“True but the number of children produced by his elder brother makes…ah I get it.”

“It’s always a struggle for The Spare but I hear The Spare may yet become the Principal and time will tell whether he can retain that role….”

“Yeah I get it but talking of The Khan he has the most names – it started with Taliban Khan then The Selected to Imran Niazi and now I think all these are all redundant and his initials should be NK.”

“What Not Known! You can say whatever you want about him but he is certainly known and…”

“NK as in Notification Khan.”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“No seriously, I mean I heard that The Khan has issued a notification saying he is to be referred to as Imran Khan and not as per the name on his passport. And this is precisely why I don’t lend any credence to the report that Asad Umer has been appointed as the Secretary General of the party….”

“That’s so stupid of you. He has been, the entire country knows it for a fact.”

“Well I need to see a notification to that effect…”

“Notifications are the realm of governments not political parties and…”

“I will have you know that on 1 October 2018 NK issued a notification appointing Arshad Dad as the party’s secretary general with immediate effect and the protocol was established so I need to see a notification….”

“Arshad Dad joined the party a week after it was established in 1996 – was a vice president of the party and in May 2018 he had the dual charge of PTI additional general secretary and…and….”

“Haven’t heard of him since?”

“That’s right, Jehangir Tareen was a secretary general of PTI also right?”

“Ha, ha, rather a challenging party position I reckon – but even if Asad Umer loses the position don’t forget he lost the portfolio of finance minister and waited out NK and is now his deputy in all matters so what if he loses the position of secretary general right?!”

“I guess.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021