PARTLY FACETIOUS: ‘Your English is as good as Meera’s’

“I urge the Prime Minister to immediately, I mean at once take up the matter of her incarceration…”

“God in heaven your English is as good as…as…Meera’s, the scion of all that is good in Pakistani cinema – immediately means at once silly…”

“I never repeat the same word in a sentence - you must have heard of a journalist who refrained from repeating and wrote God said let there be light and there was solar illumination.”

“That was an example of what not to follow.”

“Hey at the end of the day we all follow the same route in life…”

“Don’t philosophize - I get a double shot of philosophy from The Khan on a daily basis, sometimes three shots.”

“I meant all our political parties follow the same route – when in opposition they take one stance over another political party and ban it when in government……”

“Right, anyway The Khan has stopped talking about Dr Aafia and he really should - once the Americans leave Afghanistan past precedence shows that our leverage ends rather abruptly and…”

“I wasn’t talking of Dr Aaafia.”

“Hmmmm, I don’t know of any other Pakistani woman in jail, let me correct that, any known Pakistani woman in US jail…”

“Did I say jail? I used the word incarceration which also means in custody and you can be in custody in a mental hospital.”

“Ha ha ha, I heard about Meera being in a mental hospital and then being released…”

“I hope not on her own recognizance because that way she may lose her hard earned money.”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway it was all a misunderstanding or so Meera says. Her story is she was on the phone to her mum while in a hospital and sought protocol…”

“Protocol?”

“Well there you go - each unto his/her own. Anyway the doctor gave her protocol a la US style by demanding basic courtesy from her notably that she stops talking on the phone; Meera unlike the doctor gave him protocol by promptly disconnecting the phone where by her mum I believe spread the news that she has been incarcerated in a mental hospital.”

“But what was Meera doing in a mental hospital?”

“There is no indication that she was in a mental hospital but I guess Meera was speaking in English, she likes to you know, and perhaps her mum didn’t understand her and so made up her own version of the conversation.”

“Maybe her mum should be offered the Interior portfolio – you need deniability and…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021