Partly Facetious: Punjab and the police

ARTICLE: "Naya Pakistan is impressive."

"I hope you are not being sarcastic." "Tut, tut, all this self imposed negativity, in this country we developed the concept of self imposed exile but in your new Pakistan there is a plethora of self imposed negativity...I urge you Khanzadehs to please, please, seek clarity as to whether the intent was negative or positive....I mean when I say we are all in tears why would you assume tears of sorrow, there are tears of joy too you know."

"OK so were you being positive when you said Naya Pakistan is impressive?"

"As matters stand no but..."

"There you go, you Nawalas and Zardis are scared that Naya Pakistan would sweep you under the....under the...."

"Mat?"

"Mat can be easily lifted I would say under concrete which represents a sector that as you know is going to spearhead our economic recovery because all the black money will be channeled into it by December 2020 as decreed by The Khan and..."

"I am rendered speechless as usual these days....anyway when I said naya Pakistan is impressive I was referring to the five Inspectors General (IGs) in Punjab in two years and that is a record."

"Hey that's not a record. We are onto the fourth chairman of Federal Board of Revenue and that is since Hafeez Sheikh got the portfolio and so we are talking seventeen months not 24."

"So you reckon the old Pakistan, and Hafeez Sheikh is from the old Pakistan having served in two previous administrations - one dictatorship and one civilian - and The Buzz is from the new Pakistan..."

"Ha ha ha."

"What?"

"The Buzz has served in other parties but in no previous administration in any capacity so I guess you are right he represents the new Pakistan."

"I would be careful when speaking of The Buzz, I hear he is a spiritual man and that is why unlike you non-spirituals his one eye looks left while the other kind of roams and..."

"It is a medical condition, they call it strabismus..."

"See that is what's wrong with the old Pakistan - you don't believe till it bites you on the nose."

"It just might!"

"Keep dreaming."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2020