PARTLY FACETIOUS: Privacy laws that are notoriously weak

“The Khan never mentioned it.”

“Hey would you stop already! I mean these audio or video leaks defy the country’s privacy laws…”

“I wasn’t aware we had privacy laws.”

“I am not sure but I do know that emails can now be used in courts of law in the West and Pakistan has one of the best laws in the world…”

“Ha ha, the issue is non-implementation of most of them.”

“Most? I would say all.”

“Well you can’t get away with murder can you?”

“Shahrukh Jatoi…”

“Yes but he did stay in jail for ten years though his death sentence was commuted – and yes I noted the television and the mattress in his cell but hey you really reckon that was even remotely comparable to what he enjoyed at home?”

“But what about Nazim Jokhio’s murder?”

“The Nazim videoed the illegal hunting of an endangered bird but his murder is not on video though there is overwhelming circumstantial evidence…”

“Right but the audio and video leaks of The Khan, his third wife…”

“I say you corner a rat and it will bare its teeth, and if you bludgeon not once, twice three times….”

“A lady.”’

“What?”

“That’s a song by Lionel Ritchie – not once, twice, three times a lady.”

“Are you referring to The Third Wife?”

“No.”

“Anyway I haven’t decided which description of The Third Wife I support – housewife as per The Khan, Murshid as per those who claim her as their spiritual guide, Toshakhana thief as per The Khan’s opponents, The Buzz’s handler, Farah Gogi’s best friend as per others, then there….”

“Traitors all, off with their heads.”

“Even The Khan’s description?”

“Don’t trick me, anyway when I said The Khan never mentioned it I was referring to his claim that he knows British democracy very well but he never said that British parliamentarians were allowed second jobs. It was recently reported that they cumulatively made 17.1 million pounds over and above their salary as a parliamentarian and there is talk of legislating disallowing them from having a second job…”

“That may fuel corruption and…and would discourage the not so well to-do from elections.”

“In Pakistan the accumulation of wealth when in power is substantial and the landlords ensure they pay very little income tax, sugar millers ensure they get export rebate, then there is…”

“OK elite capture is a fact of life here. But I reckon foreign residency or bank accounts or jobs in foreign companies should be forbidden.”

“In your dreams.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023