Partly Facetious: Coronavirus in Pakistan

"It is extremely unfortunate..."

"Well inflation, especially food inflation, is extremely high but you know its poor management and..."

"I wasn't referring to that."

"Oh I reckon you were referring to the coronavirus that has entered Pakistan and I am not sure whether it was here before and the government hid that fact or whether it has just arrived because it seems a bit strange that a country which is the most heavily engaged with China through the China Pakistan Economic Corridor projects is one of the last ones to register a case and that too sourced from Iran."

"That's because The Khan didn't let Pakistanis return and I hear they were being provided halal food so not suffering; anyway stop being so untrusting of our government, I trust The Khan implicitly and..."

"And explicitly?"

"Indeed."

"Wow, thus speaks a true Khanzadeh. Anyway The Khan may not be aware of it, someone in the know told me recently that The Khan learnt about cabinet approval of the controversial social media laws from television as it was not discussed in the cabinet..."

"Maybe it was, and The Khan's attention was elsewhere?"

"Where? On the television?"

"I hear there is no television in the room where they hold cabinet meetings."

"That's true, I was just being facetious, anyway that's another thing The Khan and The Trump have in common - they watch too much television and in the event that there is criticism they talk of fake news and only accept favourable news and..."

"That's same o same o, but how much can you change in just one and a half years."

"I would imagine a lot more has to change - The Khan's picture is on the Sehat cards - Nawaz Sharif had his photograph on all social sector programmes paid for by our tax rupees. Zardari sahib was different - he put up his deceased wife's photograph on the Income Support Programme though I guess it's missing with the name change to Kafaalat Ehsaas programme..."

"So the residents of Lahore have that in common."

"It's Sania Nishtar's fault - she features almost daily in press releases with her photograph..."

"But she is one of the competent ones..."

"No issue on that count, but the media and the public is being overexposed to her and that may detract from The Khan's narrative in terms of focus on social sector development and..."

"You angling for her job?"

"Yes, but not right away - I was told that the way to The Khan's cabinet is through Bhatinda."

"Shhh."