Partly Facetious: 'Water, water everywhere...'

"Transparency Internatio-nal's downgrading of our ranking by one in terms of corruption perception index remains notwithstanding the long explanation issued by TI's Pakistan Chapter."

"These decadent Western institutions..."

"Hey stop, those days are long gone, The Khan says he has spent a lifetime in the UK and true Medina ki riyasat in terms of a welfare state is in the West, though truth be told Boris Johnson's UK is not the same as when The Khan was studying and later playing cricket there..."

"Maybe, but I reckon that our downgrading by one does not mean that our corruption has risen, it could mean that some other country, maybe India in its overarching objective to embarrass..."

"Don't be facetious."

"OK, so let's say country x may have done a tad more to improve its ranking than The Khan administration and as you know mafias are like water in this country..."

"Mafia and water?"

"Well, you must have read Coleridge's famous poem The Ancient Mariner in which one line is water, water everywhere and ne'er a drop to drink....and that applies to the mafias that The Khan is up against - there is the political mafia and yes, they are around him but without them his government would fall, then there are the industry mafias and here you have the sugar mafia, the cement mafia, the wheat..."

"I get it, but surely there are too many drinkers here rather than what Coleridge was talking about - ne'er a drop to drink."

"I don't get your logic?"

"It is simple. Do you agree that inflation, especially food inflation has reached the highest level since...since...why since Hafeez Sheikh was the Finance Minister last?"

"What... what? It's all the fault of the Sindh government and...and..."

"Don't splutter, don't you recall that during the Zardari-led government inflation was over 24 percent and Sheikh slashed it by half by simply reducing the food weightage and that dratted food inflation has reared its ugly head again, so I propose another 6 percent slash in its weightage."

"Don't be facetious; I reckon that as inflation has risen dramatically, to sustain their life style requires raising corruption rates which is why the corruption perception index has risen."

"You are so bad."