Partly Facetious: Definition of democracy

"There is one thing that is not relative."

"Everything my friend, but everything, is relative in the Land of the Pure. You may define democracy one way, Nawaz Sharif defines it another, Zardari sahib yet another and The Khan has yet to come up with a firm definition."

"Don't be facetious. Democracy is of the people, for the people and by the people."

"Ah, but how do the three gentlemen I cited above define people?"

"Dear God!"

"No seriously, for Zardari sahib the people are those in interior Sindh who continue to vote for the party, and for the people are those who have won seats in the assemblies and..."

"But isn't it the same for Nawaz Sharif?"

"Well, there is the obvious difference as Nawaz Sharif defines people as those who vote for PML-N and not PPP. And for the people has been defined by Zardari sahib as Peoples Programmes, including Benazir Income Support Programme..."

"It's all in the name, hunh!"

"Indeed, which explains why Zardari sahib is at pains to refer to The Khan as Niazi."

"Prompting The Khan to issue a notification whereby he was not to be referred to as Niazi in all official documents."

"I don't have any independent verification of that, but The Khan must be aware that a directive may change with a change in government."

"Nope, once one occupies that seat somehow these basics escape out the windows..."

"Escape or are thrown out! Anyway Nawaz Sharif programmes paid for by our tax rupees were all names Prime Minister's programme and..."

"I hear he is referred by all those allowed near him as the Prime Minister still."

"Right, anyway The Khan is spending our tax rupees on Ehsaas and need I add that has become his signature project though God bless Dr Hafeez Sheikh he is releasing little money for it."

"But accountability is defined the same by all three."

"Ha, ha, indeed, though one needs to ask The Khan to reconfirm his earlier..."

"You are so bad."