Motivational myths that mislead

Why people do what they do. Why people do not do what they do not do. Why people behave the way they do. Whey people do not behave the way they do not behave. These are the questions that frustrate, intrigue and engage most leaders, followers, and researchers. Sometimes you see people doing things that are what we call “uncharacteristic”.

Sometimes we see people do things that are inexplicable. At other times, you see the same people do things that are perfectly normal. Human behaviour is complex. Human behaviour is predictable. Human behaviour is unpredictable. Many times, the closest people we know behave in a manner that makes us think, did we really know them? In fact, we ourselves behave in a manner that sometimes surprises us. Does that mean that it is futile trying to make sense of how people behave? No. If anything, it is even more important to keep learning about this complex subject.

The fact that each human being is unique is correct. Human behaviour is affected by biological, psychological and sociocultural factors to name a few. Two people of the same family (even twins) can have different experiences and thought processes leading to two different behaviours. This basic realization is often overlooked in households and companies. Parents keep comparing the behaviour of their children to their own childhood. Managers keep comparing their juniors to the time when they were juniors. This comparison is misleading. The cognitive forces that shaped the behaviours of the parents and those of the children are different. How can the behaviour be the same? Unquestioned, these myths become a reality. These realities then become the basis of erroneous decision-making. Let us look at some myths and how they can lead to unwarranted behaviours and consequences:

Myth#1— Salary is the biggest motivator-“Loyalty, what loyalty, they only care for the pay cheques”. These statements are still in vogue. Leaders are unhappy over the way employees play the offer letter card. They apply underhand to other companies. Get a higher offer. And leave. That is why this common perception, that money talks, money hires and money motivates. According to The Conference Board’s latest Job Satisfaction survey, today’s worker does want money but even more he wants meaning. They feel motivated when they know the purpose and meaning of what they are doing. Another major motivator is recognition and appreciation. Most people complain about how they feel unvalued and unappreciated. This is a very major reason of human disengagement. Compensation comes on number 3 to 5 in most surveys as a motivator. In my coaching experience most people quit jobs because they felt they did not matter. To matter to somebody is a human yearning. When you are not appreciated, you feel unwanted and irrelevant. That feeling is a motivation killer. In my coaching sessions when leaders complain about how materialistic the employees are, I ask them when was the last time you publicly appreciated your team members. Their answer is many times. I ask again, can you quote one specific time you appreciated them in the last few weeks, they struggle. One suggestion I made to one leader was to form a WhatsApp group of the team and appreciate a specific member. He did that was surprised that how a few words of appreciation did more than many monetary motivators.

Myth#2— One size fits all-A leader in a coaching session complained to me about praise. He said “look you asked me to praise him publicly, I did, and it did not work”. Leaders are hard-pressed for time. They do not try to understand that what motivates one may not motivate another. Some employees love public recognition. Others may prefer a private compliment with a job enrichment opportunity. Some other employee may feel that sending a letter of appreciation to his parents about his own performance is the best thing that happened to him. Leaders must realize that the way they need to customize their offerings to customers, they need to tailor their motivators to their employees.

Myth#3— No kicks, no starts - Most leaders feel that human beings are inherently lazy. This misconception turns them into a micromanager who constantly checks on his employees to ensure work is being done. This myth is wrong, as human beings are inherently capable in some way or the other. Human beings also crave freedom. When they are being over supervised, they feel caged. This feeling then makes them dodge the work and systems. Leaders need to do CET (Coach, Enable, Trust) process with employees to let them undertake initiatives. As long as leaders stop disbelieving in human potential, the results will remain volatile.

Myth#4— Employees hate feedback - Another myth is that employees hate being told about their performance. Leaders either avoid giving bad news or they feel that if they praise them in the feedback, employee expectation will go up. That is why employee feedback is an annual or bi-annual ritual. The reality is that employees do not hate feedback; they hate random, thoughtless feedback. Whenever I ask leaders if they are having regular one on ones with their team, they say we meet so often it happens. Not so. Feedback is not a “by the way” activity. It is a specific, structured and significant system. If done properly and regularly it helps and motivates employees to improve and grow. If done randomly, as it is done mostly, it is a ‘me vs you’ feud.

Myth#5— An arm’s length distance is a professional requirement; the pedestal leader has this attitude. He provides decent salaries and perks and lets HR deal with employee engagement. Yes, it is an HR responsibility to keep an eye on employee engagement, but it is the responsibility of the leader to engage and motivate employees. In one of the recent coaching assignments, I assessed different leaders in a company. The most inspiring leader was not the one who was this big guy announcing big decisions, rather the leader who was the most connected. Leaders think that they need to be approachable so that the people can come to them, which is fine. But the most motivating thing the employees mentioned was, “he approaches us, he talks to us, he asks us, he jokes with us”. This is the connect that matters more than fancy decisions being made in the five-star corporate offices of the leaders.

True leadership is about engaging people, not to the pay cheques, but to the purpose. It is not about sitting in high offices but sitting amongst the team. About understanding them. About being the gardener rather than the garden owner. That feeling of being seen, appreciated, recognized, involved is the motivation that people want. The bad news is that very few leaders do it. The good news is that it is almost cost free. In the end, leadership is not about being the candle that is lit but about how many other candles have you been able to light and shine.

Copyright Business Recorder, 2026