PARTLY FACETIOUS: The Third Wife never ever focused on climate but on other matters

“Just an innocuous question: who is responsible for security?”

“That’s not innocuous – The security threat to this country is significant, and until and unless the Taliban reign in their Pakistani counterparts from attacking us…”

“Stop, stop, please stop. That was not the kind of security I was referring to.”

“OK so inside the country there is the police, but you know, and I know that…hey you weren’t referring to climate security were you?”

“First I heard of climate security.”

“Well given the scale of climate change on the livelihoods of millions with thousands upon thousands left homeless due to floods, with crops destroyed, physical infrastructure destroyed, animals killed…”

“Hamm, and you know this is the wrath of can I say The Third Wife on the Chief Minister of Punjab?”

“No you cannot, The Third Wife never ever focused on climate but on other matters. Why do you think the Third Wife is jinxing the Chief Minister, of Punjab?”

“The Chief Minister of Punjab went off to Brazil to attend the international climate conference and need I add she was dressed very nicely and presented a very nice…”

“You being sarcastic?”

“Good heavens, I wouldn’t dare, but back home Lahore attained the top rank weeks running — of being the most air polluted city in the world.”

“I didn’t notice that.”

“If you think you can get that posting in Lahore that you have coveted for so long, then…”

“I can get it on merit, my friend.”

“It’s like two in one dishes that we love so much – you get meat and add a vegetable and…”

“I don’t get you.”

“Merit with a dose of nepotism and…”

“Stop, anyway, when I asked about who is responsible for our security I merely wanted to point out that shutting all roads is perhaps not such a great idea – security must be assured without shutting roads and…”

“How about digging ditches? Our Interior Minister…”

“Has stopped the practice, as you well know.”

“I stand corrected.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2025