“14 members of the English cricket team are suffering from a viral infection.” “See I would take strong exception to that.”
“To what, you silly goose!”
“Hey be politically correct.”
“I don’t see how; I have no training. We are from a country where our three-time prime minister refuses to provide the money trail for, how can I put, his extremely healthy offshore accounts in Panama and publicly said if he had money what’s it to the general public, and another prime minister sold the gifts he received from Arab countries and when asked why he said my gifts my will…”
“Zardari sahib is the only one who has no such charges against him and you know why. Because he has a legal team that he listens to while the Sharifs and The Khan reckon they alone can tackle all challenges. But anyway when I said be politically correct I was referring to you calling me a goose. Politically correct implies gender neutrality.”
“So what would you have me say! You silly goose/gander?”
“Hmmm, the English language has so many limitations, I mean they don’t even have a verb for having something done by another – in Urdu we have jalwana (to have someone burnt), karwana (to have it done).”
“Ah yes the Language does have limitations – and the entire animal kingdom is referred to as it, no wonder Clinton wanted his detractors to define the word is…”
“Don’t be facetious and a gentle reminder in Urdu all abuses are not gender neutral!”
“I take your point anyway the English team members have a viral infection and not a bacterial infection…see a viral infection’s symptoms are a severe tummy upset, with perhaps fever and need I add all my relatives visiting from the West suffer from such a viral infection after their first meal…”
“I thought the team brought their own cook.”
“If the choice is between English food and the rather scrumptious Pakistani food…”
“For your information a survey in the UK revealed that the majority consider curries as British food now so there.”
“Hmmm, so many complications, but look at the glass as half full.”
“How?”
“It’s the first meal that gets them ill and not their last supper…”
“Hmm, biblical references and those too after the announced end of interest rate banking…”
“Hush.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2022
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