PARTLY FACETIOUS: Journalists and generalists

“We are a nation of generalists.” “I don’t get you.”

“We have a law minister who has a commerce degree, we have a minister of petroleum who is a pharmacist, we have a finance minister who is an accountant, we have…”

“Don’t ignore the commonality.”

“What that they are all men?”

“Less generic than that, the commonality is that they are all nawalas, Nawaz Sharif’s protégés, who take a bite out of any government that he heads – physically or…or…”

“Or by remote control.”

“Indeed but for the information of you Khanzadehs The Khan also appointed many a generalist…why are you laughing?”

“The Khan appointed experts as well and need I add all those experts performed worse than any previous generalist with that portfolio – take Hafeez Sheikh who signed off on a very tight monetary and fiscal policy with the IMF that crippled the already fragile economy, take Nadeem Babar who crippled the gas sector, take the scion of accountability Shahzad Akbar…”

“So according to your thesis the generalists have proved less destructive than experts because?”

“Because generalists are less opinionated though that doesn’t apply to those who are closer to the seat of power and that includes close family members, family by marriage…”

“Don’t be facetious. But seriously what is baffling is Shehbaz Sharif’s very large cabinet…”

“It is an eleven party coalition government so each party wanted their pound of flesh.”

“Right but all important ministries are held by the PML-N right?”

“I agree there is the Ministry of No Portfolio held by Javed Latif…”

“Don’t be facetious that was due to a very high-level recommendation, nay an order (sifarish).”

“Indeed but did you hear about the falling out between Kaira sahib, a mild-mannered though given as good as he gets gentleman, and The Maulana.”

“No I haven’t heard, I thought Kaira sahib had a falling out only with Firdous Ashiq Awan…”

“Women can cry and get away with it, men have to use other wiles and need I add the wiles won out in this case but anyway Kaira’s current portfolio is Kashmir Affairs and Gilgit-Baltistan. Now we all know that The Maulana held a monopoly over…”

“Let me correct you, he held a monopoly over the chairmanship of the committee on Kashmir affairs not the ministry.”

“Right but as the head of the Pakistan Democratic Movement…”

“But he lost in the last elections.”

“One thing that I have learnt from Pakistani politics: where there is a will there is a way my friend.”

“The will of the bestower must match the yearning of the bestowed.”

“How seriously not profound!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022