PARTLY FACETIOUS: Murad Saeed declared number one!

“Murad Saeed was declared number one and I for one agree with The Khan’s assessment.”

“I guess he is young enough to be proud of being declared number one.”

“Hey I would have also declared Murad Saeed as number one – he is number one in loyalty, I mean have you heard him defending the Khan and abusing all those dacoits, and…and he is also the cutest looking member of the cabinet…”

“Don’t be facetious if looks were a criterion then how do you account for some of the others?”

“Take number two, AsadUmer, he has emerged from the wilderness that The Khan pushed him into after he took away the finance portfolio from him, to being Khan’s New Left Hand; besides he supported smart lockdown and thereby successfully tackled Covid 19…. and yes there were some army personnel as well who, I hear, prefer to use the word micro lock down like the rest of the world and not smart which is perhaps why they are not in evidence publicly…”

“You get side tracked so easily – anyway The Old Left Hand has a plane and even today has 20 to 25 members in the national and provincial assemblies that The Khan may need while Umer comes as the Lone Ranger…”

“Hey you dare to criticize The Khan’s selections!?”

“Nope, just asking, anyway Dr Sania Nishtar came third and she has done quite well in weeding out the ineligible from the Benazir Income Support programme and it’s not her fault that cash disbursements are not keeping pace with inflation…”

“But she does not criticize the previous administrations though rhetorically she has shown a commitment to Medina ki riyasat vision.”

“And that may explain why Sheikh Rashid (for his daily pro-Khan and anti-opposition leaders vitriol on television) and Khusro Bakhtiar (for agreeing to be shunted from one ministry to another to another) were amongst the top ten.”

“And don’t forget Razak Dawood who as commerce minister does not accept responsibility for imports and the widening trade gap, only accepts credit if exports rise and Moeed Yousaf who drafted a policy which is even more theoretical than usual and does not reflect the ground realities today.”

“Right, but surprisingly Farogh Naseem wasn’t in the top ten. I mean last I heard he was praising his own input with respect to amendments in the criminal law…”

“But there was one name missing and that surprised me. And that was none other than Faisal Vawda. I mean he should have been awarded the number two position because he is very loyal to The Khan and…and as The Khan likes to slap those who dare challenge his own selections this would have been the best way to…”

“But he wasn’t a federal minister anymore.”

“What’s to stop The Khan from appointing him as special assistant or advisor and…and the notification would have taken an hour at most and then to award him number two position.”

“You are right because one more selected as opposed to elected and it would have been five-five in the top ten.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022