PARTLY FACETIOUS: The Ancient Mariner

“Water, water, everywhere and never a drop to drink.”

“And what prompted this line from, wasn’t it Coleridge’s poem titled The Ancient Mariner? Wait, I think I know – the two contenders for the White House?”

“I hear a survey in the US showed that around 67 percent of the public doesn’t want either of the geriatrics…”

“Yeah I know. So the quote from Coleridge…”

“I wasn’t thinking of the two US presidential candidates. Going back to the poem, let me state for the record that unlike you, I have never focused on a title, I actually read the entire document or book before passing judgement.”

“Hmmm so what or who were you thinking of when you cited this famous line from The Ancient Mariner?”

“Replace water with subsidies and never a drop to drink with the further erosion of the narrow fiscal space…”

“How narrow is the fiscal space?”

“The first review report of the ongoing International Monetary Fund programme highlighted the fact that Caretaker Naqvi overspent the Punjab budget by 115 billion rupees and then pledged to the Fund to make this over spending budget neutral by adjusting the amount and as we all know Notification Maryam Nawaz has never had to make any such adjustment in her life!”

“Hey, if Caretaker Naqvi said he will do it, he probably did it.”

“Hmmmm.”

“Why are you so cynical about other’s ability to deliver on their pledge?”

“It’s a rather large amount that would have required more than a month or two and as we know the Sharifs like to extend subsidies in all shapes and sizes which are at the taxpayers’ expense…”

“Their love for the people of this country…”

“Oh, shut up, it’s a vote gainer.”

“They don’t need votes for another, I don’t know, one year.”

“They are here for five years.”

“If wishes were horses…my theory is that in this country, the tenure enjoyed is a direct coefficient of The Stakeholder’s Diktat…”

“Down boy.”

“But…but…”

“I said down boy, anyway God bless the H squared duo who will be returning to this country after…after many, many, years because bail has been granted to Hassan and Hussain so they don’t have to go to Raiwind via jail and…”

“Stop Muharram is not…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

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